Becoming Scattered

Often we talk in church about the scattering of the 12 tribes of Israel. Usually the talk about why the scattering occurred centers around the wickedness of the people. For example, the people were becoming wicked, so the Lord caused them to be cast out of their lands and scattered across the earth. One aspect that we don't often discuss is that yes, a major reason for the scattering was wickedness, but another large part was in order to preserve His people. In the Allegory of the Olive Tree in Jacob 5, the Lord of the vineyard (who we know represents Jesus Christ) takes away many young and tender branches of the olive tree to graft into other trees throughout the vineyard (or the world) in order to "preserve unto myself the natural branches of the tree; and also, that I may lay up fruit thereof against the season, unto myself" (Jacob 5:13).

Bryce's parents are up visiting us for a couple of days and anticipating their coming got me to thinking about the good and bad points of living away from most of our family. Quite often I will see pictures of birthday parties or other family gatherings that we couldn't attend because of where we live and get a twang of jealousy and sadness. I miss being able to spend more time with my family and letting my kids know their cousins better. At times I will feel a bit out of the loop when we have conversations about things going on.

We really don't live all that far away from family, either. It's a relatively easy 5 1/2 hour drive, so it's a trip that can be made with some frequency and without too much trouble. Even so, we miss out on some things that I would like to be able to be around for.

My sister Di has about a 9-11 hour drive (Mom could tell the time better, since she's done it and I haven't) from where she lives to go visit the family, so hers is a little bit harder to do.

And my favorite brother, Brian, just moved his family across the country, so it would take a few days to drive or take as long to fly as it takes me to drive.

And those are just going to where the rest of our family lives, that's not coming here or me going there. So I don't get to see them very often. It makes it a little sad, since I've got a new niece, Savannah, who I have never seen. She was born just a few weeks before Brian and Steph moved their family. I'm hoping that they will start a blog here sometime and post lots of pictures and lots of stories so I can feel like I know their kids a bit better.

So living away from family, being scattered in a sense, does have its bad points. It has its good points too however.

When you move your family away from the support you've grown up depending on, it makes you as a family depend more on each other and you become closer and stronger both as a married couple and as a family unit. I had always heard some people say that the best advice they would give a married couple would be to move at least 300 miles away from their parents, and I never really understood the benefits until I did it. Not that staying close is bad, but for us anyway, we seem to have only grown closer as we've been scattered from our family.

Another good point is that when the families get together and the one kid who was sick ends up getting everyone else sick, we can sit back and be glad that we couldn't make it to that family gathering and aren't throwing up along with everyone else.

One other good point that I've really come to appreciate is that living away from family has made us depend a little more on our ward family. We've become closer to more people than we would otherwise and have had to ask for or accept help from ward members that we probably otherwise wouldn't have. I think it's made us stronger in our faith as we've done so.

It's still nice to know that I have parents and in-laws who would drop everything to come up if I needed them to. I still have that support, even though it's not as close.

So as Brian and Steph start their new life being scattered from the family and the things that have been familiar to them, I hope they will be able to see the positive side of the scattering. They will become closer as a couple and as a family. They will be able to depend on their ward family and make new, lasting friendships. Their faith will increase and they will find that they are stronger than they thought possible.

I hope we will all be able to see that the scattering isn't always bad, but that it does "preserve...the natural branches" and our own families can be stronger because of it. Blessings we may not ever have expected may come because of our being scattered. I know I've received blessings I never before thought of because we've been scattered. And one day, whether in this life or the next, we will come to a time when we are all gathered together forever.